Arranged Marriages are bad news
by Aquaflares
Summary: Tsubame discovers something he can't accept... neither can Li. shounenai LixTsubame, GrayxWen, JouxTsubame


**Title:** Arranged Marriages are bad news  
**Author:** Reine Katashka  
**Fandom:** Batoru Biidaman  
**Characters/Pairing:** Li/Tsubame, Gray/Wen, Jou/Tsubame  
**Prompt:** 078. Discovery  
**Word Count:** 2878  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Summary:** Tsubame discovers something he just can't agree with... and so can't Li.  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own Biidaman, because if I did, it would have been yaoi-fied a long time ago.  
**Author's Notes:** So now I'm convinced that Tsubame's a guy, so I'll stick to him being a guy... . ;;; Much easier on my part anyway, because I'm not used to writing straight pairings. (sigh) I'm pathetic. As for the pairings, this was just a dare type of fic. Besides, I needed something to write. If you're wondering, Yamato and the others aren't here. They stayed with Mie in their hometown, and since I needed Gray, I made it as if Mie gave Leanna and him a break.

This was not what he expected to hear when he returned to the village.

Tsubame bit his lips to show his annoyance, as well as to keep himself from bursting out. The last thing he needed now was an argument between his parents and him. Of course, he would have won the argument judging by the slightly uneasy expressions his parents were sporting right about now.

"Tsubame-chan..." Sari, his mother, started, before he shook his head furiously and, having no more willpower, cried out his frustration.

"Why do you only have to tell me now, of all times, that I'm betrothed already?" he whined, slumping down on the ground and finally giving into his aching body's demands. He had just finished spinning around the world with Yamato, saving said world from Marda B's control, and had been anticipating coming back to the village for a long time to announce to his parents that he had a partner for life now. Well, the last part was an unexpected call, meaning he wasn't expecting a crazy Wen to lock him up with Li and order them to make out or else he would never let them out again.

To say that was awkward was putting it lightly. Still, they did get together anyway, and had been happily in love with each other for a while.

Then this had to happen.

"We wanted to tell you sooner, dear. But then you decided that you wanted to train more for your B-dabattling." Sari said, glancing at Sanjuurou in annoyance for not helping her. He shrugged helplessly, not knowing how to react to a situation like this.

"Mother, I don't mean to be rude... but I already have a boyfriend."

"Well, we can't exactly break the engagement now. It's against the clan rules."

"I don't want to break up with him; we just got together two weeks ago!"

"That's not really that long of a ti-- oof!" Sanjuurou groaned when Sari elbowed him, her eyes warning him from making anymore stupid comments. Tsubame looked just about defeated right now, torn between following his parent's wishes and his own.

It was then and there a short moment of silence engulfed them, before Tsubame asked the question they have been dreading to answer.

"Who am I engaged to?"

Silence.

"Well?"

Silence yet again.

"Would you like a cup of tea?" Sari said sweetly, hoping not to answer the question.

Apparently Tsubame did not wish to grant her hopes.

"Would you please tell me who I'm betrothed to, mother?" he asked as politely as he could, but they could tell that the venom was starting to seep into his voice. That was never a good sign. Tsubame rarely got angry, annoyed and frustrated maybe, but not angry. Sanjuurou sighed as Sari continued to stall, before he decided to answer him himself.

"You're getting married to Tetsunosuke-kun, Tsubame."

Silence once more.

Then all hell broke loose.

"You're getting me married to Jou!" Tsubame panicked, flailing his arms wildly in disbelief as he stared at his parents. His expression could easily be described as a 'deer-caught-in-the-headlights.'

"Honey, it's not that bad..."

"Jou's like an older brother to me, it would be like incest!"

"... I never thought about it that way."

"...Besides, he's eight years older than me. EIGHT YEARS! Isn't that illegal?"

"It's not illegal in our town, honey."

"And he's a guy! Did you already expect me to be gay before I did?"

"We didn't know you'll be a boy, besides, you showed all the signs..."

"Sanjuurou, be quiet! You're not helping the situation any."

"...Also, Li hates him! He's going to get cursed by him..."

"I'm sure a nine year old can't do that much damage..."

"... and Li can be so destructive too! I won't be surprised if he sends our guardian statue after Jou!"

"... What kind of children does our son date?"

"You have both gone crazy!" Tsubame squeaked, freaking out and practically hyperventilating on the spot. Sanjuurou raised an eyebrow in amusement, while Sari groaned inwardly and approached her son. Tsubame still continued to breathe hard, calming down slightly as his mother rubbed his back soothingly. She knew that it would be hard for Tsubame to accept this, as he was still ten years old. However, she had not expected that her son would meet any love interest on the way. She sighed to herself before mustering up a small smile.

"I'm sorry things have to turn out this was, Tsubame-chan. We'll wait for you to calm down and then we'll continue this talk." she said soothingly, before watching Tsubame stand, bow, and leave the room as quickly as he could.

Silence hung in the air for a moment, before Sanjuurou decided to speak.

"That went well."

Sari smacked him upside the head and gave him a glare.

-----

Gray wiped the bead of sweat from his forehead as he finished training, smiling to himself as Chrome Raven glistened under the sun. Wen had been with him a while ago, and after some awkward moments, Wen decided to jump him out of nowhere and kiss him. Then again, he should have expected it considering the other boy was quite impulsive. He dare say that Wen could be more impulsive than Yamato at times, and that's saying a lot already. Well, he enjoyed it, and he knew that Wen was a great guy, so they hooked up. Now, he had his sister, he had a boyfriend, and his b-daman is just perfect for him. Nothing in the world could make his day bad.

"Stupid arranged marriages...stupid secrets... stupid trip... Argh! Stupid squirrel!"

Gray blinked out of his short musing to see the normally nature-loving Tsubame trying to slash a squirrel into pieces. His eyes widened in surprise, before he quickly ran towards him friend and prevent him from killing the innocent woodland creature. He had to dodge a few attacks first before he finally got to him, and he was not surprised to see that the squirrel looked like he was suffering from a heart attack.

"Tsubame, snap out of it! What's with the sudden hostility?" he barked slightly, wincing at his harsh tone. It made the other calm down, though you could hear him muttering about squirrels, acorns, and how they conspired an arranged marriage to make his life miserable. To say Gray was confused was putting it lightly.

"What?"

"Sorry, laddie. Just had a moment there." Tsubame said, louder this time, and let out a frustrated sigh. Gray frowned at this reaction and decided that, since the God of Irony wanted to prove him wrong about the day being perfect, he might as well go along with it. He led Tsubame under a tree and forced him to sit down, before kneeling before him and resting a hand on his shoulder for comfort.

"What's wrong?" He asked, waiting patiently for Tsubame to answer.

"Everything!" the younger boy wailed, looking lost and confused at the same time frustrated and helpless, which did not help the situation any. Before Gray could speak further, Tsubame had already started ranting.

"I thought everything was already perfect because I have Li as a boyfriend, only to find out I'm already engaged! Not only that, but I'm engaged to Jou. Do you know how much Li secretly hates him because he says Jou looks at me funny and is always laughing and it's not funny because I don't really want to get married to him because I love Li and Jou's practically eight years older than me! If that's not enough, my dad is crazy and does not know how to comfort me and my mom is not making things any better. They thought I was gay even as a youngin and I wasn't even gay until I met Li and that was three years after they betrothed me to Jou. Knowing them, they'll tell Li to break up with me and he won't and if he finds out it's because I'm engaged to Jou then he'll curse one the big statues in this place, and laddie, that is not a good thing because all the statues are huge and Jou's not exactly ready to face a gazillion enemies at once even though he's eight years older than me. The problem is Li can't hold back his jealousy as well as people think he could because this isn't a brotherly jealousy thing, it's a lover to lover thing and Li is only patient and unjealousy when it's not something to do with me he says and I'm freaking out because I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!" he practically sobbed, and Gray had to let the information slowly sink into his brain because he was having a hard time getting the idea.

"So, you're dating Li, engaged to Jou, misunderstood by parents and currently freaking out because Li is going to send statue monsters after Jou?" he said cautiously, earning a nod from Tsubame. He pursed his lips for a while, contemplating the situation, before letting out a sigh.

"Maybe we should talk to Leanna."

-----

They couldn't find Leanna, despite having practically spun around the town looking for her. So, after losing hope, they just went back to the inn and practically begged Wen to ask Li in a nice way, how he'll react if Tsubame was engaged to anybody.

This landed him in the awkward situation he was in right now.

_'Damn it. If I had known dating Gray would involve risking my neck, I would have found a safer partner.'_

Not that he didn't like Gray. No, quite the opposite, he was smitten with the cool, young blonde. Hell, if his stalking their group was not enough, then stalking him should have given him all the signs. However, no-one should ever mess with Li about things he wanted, which he had learned (painfully) from experience.

"Hey Li?" Wen said, watching as his brother started painting the characters on his curse paper thingies. He could never seem to remember what they were called, but he dared not tell that to Li.

"Yeah?" replied the younger Yong-Fa, not looking up from his work to give Wen a second glance.

_'Well, here goes nothing...'_

"What would you do if Tsubame has, say... a fiancé?"

Li stopped momentarily from his work to shoot him a disbelieving glance, his eyes narrowing slightly before he returned to his work.

"Please elaborate."

"Well, see, err... I was thinking, I mean... You know how ninja clans and stuff like to have arranged marriages, right? So, what if Tsubame was you know, engaged to one of the townsfolk here?"

"They should feel sorry for themselves, because Tsubame is not interested in women."

"... What if he's engaged to a guy?"

That got Li's whole attention. He dropped his brush and the paper and turned to Wen, eyes narrowing dangerously, which seemed to fit strangely well on his nine-year-old face. Wen gulped in nervousness at the expression on his brother's face, knowing all too well that the evilness that seeped in the other's eyes was not a good sign.

"Who is he engaged to?"

"Err..."

"I know you did not just think of that out of nowhere, Wen. I know you too well to believe that you'd wonder about my boyfriend's life like that."

Ouch. Strike One.

"I could have just suddenly thought about it."

"But you wouldn't. I know you're with Gray already, so you'd be daydreaming about him more than wonder about Tsubame-chan."

Yikes. Strike Two.

"Well..."

"WHO is he engaged to, Wen Yong-Fa!" he demanded, his unusual eyes gleaming something slightly resembling homicide, which Wen had to mentally flinch away from. He was already using his whole name, which meant he was realy mad.

Uh-oh. Strike Three.

Just a Li pulled out one of his curse paper thingies, Wen quickly babbled out everything to save himself.

"He's engaged to Jou, ok! Gray was asking me to ask you how'd you react if you found out he was engaged to Jou. Don't hurt me, please?" he whimpered, shielding his face pathetically with his arms. A short moment of silence hung over them, before Wen was brave enough to peek from behind his arms. Li just grinned at him and turned away, leaving the room.

"Hey, where are you going?" Wen asked cautiously, not fully ridding himself of his arm-shield yet. Li turned around slightly to flash him a smile, which looked really wicked for him.

"I'm just going to pay Jou a visit." he chirped, before quickly shutting the door. Wen sat there for a while and stared, before he fell back into the bed and smacked himself on the forehead.

"Oh yeah, Gray and Tsubame are gonna kill me."

-----

Jou was having a sweet time sleeping under his favorite tree, having been given a short break from his duties. He sighed blissfully, unaware that there may be danger lurking around the corner.

Just like the huge statue standing behind him ready trample the tree.

He got away just in time though, and stared at the pile of mess that used to be his hang-out. He looked up and blinked at the monstrosity he used to acknowledge as one of the sacred guardian statues of his hometown.

"What in the---?"

"Jou, get away now!"

Jou spun around and saw Tsubame, Gray and Wen running up to him, before he jumped out of the way and landed on a nearby rock. He was at a loss as to what to do. The most logical thing would be to destroy the statue, considering it was made of wood, after all. However, it was against the law to destroy the guardians, so that had put him in a tight spot.

"What's going on?" Jou cried out in confusion, yelping as he nearly got hit again. He was getting frustrated right about now, especially since he hadn't been able to enjoy his free time.

"Tsubame's got a jealous boyfriend trying to kill you, that's all." Wen said casually, and Jou had to raise an eyebrow at that comment. Tsubame sighed while Gray shook his head, before Jou suddenly turned around and faced the monster trying to crush him.

"What's our gods have to do with that, then?"

"Oh, well, Li's got the ability to control stuff with curses. So, I suggest you just run right now."

"Li! I know you're out there, laddie! Come out right now and stop this nonsense or I swear I'll break up with you right now!" Tsubame called out, obviously stressed out by the fact that his prediction about how Li'll react was true. The younger Yong-Fa came out, looking very annoyed and sulky at the same time. Jou couldn't help but stare at the kid who was nearly the cause of his demise.

"He's the one trying to kill me?"

"Well, yeah..." Wen said sheepishly, trying to hide behind Gray from Li's glares. Tsubame went and hugged Li, trying to get the younger-by-only-a-few-month's boy to calm down. Jou sighed and rubbed his temples for a while, both glad and relieved that this mini-mishap was sort-of over.

"Now, could someone please tell me what's going on?" Jou groaned, watching all the younger kids around him look at each other, before looking at him.

"Well..."

"You see..."

"You're engaged to Tsubame here, right?"

"Well, Li heard and well..."

"... You saw what happened."

"I could have succeeded too!"

"Li, calm down."

"... Ok... that's just great. Didn't you guys already hear the news?" Jou said, raising an eyebrow at them as they looked at him in confusion.

"What news?"

"The one where my mom stalked over to your parents and demanded to break up the marriage because I'm not gay."

"... You never knew I was a guy?"

"I knew you were, but she didn't."

"...Oh." An embarrassed silence hung over them, and Jou couldn't help but chuckle in amusement.

"Well, if you guys are settled already, I need to go back to my chores." he chirped, leaning down and patting Tsubame on the head, before feeling evil and kissing him on the cheeks as well, just to infuriate Li.

"Too bad, you'd make a cute housewife." he chirped, before quickly leaving as Tsubame burned bright red and Li glared daggers at him. After he left, an awkward silence fell upon them yet again.

"... Sooooo... anyone wants to play poker?"

-----

Sari smiled as she watched Tsubame and Li chat with each other on the make-shift swing, before tossing an annoyed look at Sanjuurou.

"Put down that pen, honey. Don't you dare try to set our son up with some other man... or woman." she warned, casting dangerous eyes his way. He sighed and let the paper go, walking over to his wife so that he could look out the window as well.

"I don't know why you'd want him to stay with that child; he doesn't even look much like a warrior."

"Honey, he just destroyed half of the town."

Silence followed, before Sanjuurou grumbled about manipulative and tricky women.

"I knew you'd see things my way."

Sanjuurou sighed as Sari smiled, before she looked outside and continued to watch them.

_'Besides, arranged marriages are bad news anyway...'_


End file.
